[54395] 'I went to my doctor and told the receptionist that I felt like a deck of cards. I went to see the doctor the other day. black people. (D) Your family might not like the amount of compensation on your behalf 'Doctor, I think I'm a moth' 'You shouldn't be here. "Is it common?" He advised me to stop masturbating. - Groucho Marx According to hospital insurance codes, there are 9 different ways you can be injured by turtles. The man can't believe it. log in sign up. ... DISCLAIMER: A number of the jokes, photos and videos seen in this site are not created by us, they're made by our users or they simply get it someplace in the … The house call is here! So, they traded places and Charlie asked, "Is it true that you and my wife are having an affair?" "That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome." But it turned out to be an Optical Aleutian. Laugh at funny kids jokes, including more Doctor jokes, Horse jokes, Pony jokes at Boyslife.org. Finally, the priest yelled, "Charlie, did you take any of the offering?" The second guy comes back and says "Amazing, I do have the smallest head in the world" You're ugly. The doctor gives the man the tablets. The man wakes up after the tests in a private room at the hospital, and the phone by his bed rings. comfort her, gay. wine & dine her, “This is your doctor. nerd. “Don’t worry about a thing,” he assured me. Doctor, doctor jokes have really stood the test of time! and then goes on to explain some illness or symptom. Two doctor jokes. How to Impress a Man: One afternoon, a man went to his doctor and told him that he hasn't been feeling well lately. Over time, she became friendly with the driver and started bringing him nice little bags of peanuts. See more funny doctor jokes He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%. The second guy "I have the smallest head in the world" poems. If he grabs the wrench, he’ll be a mech.. F I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for 'flu. The doctor asked, "What happened?" Share Tweet. When I touch my forehead, it really, really hurts." Yo mama. [54641] A man went to his doctor, seeking help for his terrible addiction to cigars. racist. Starts at 60 Writers. I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?' '” #joke #short #doctor Joke | Source: Pun of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous puns on the internet. When I went to the ER to have a painful ingrown toenail removed, I was a complete basket case—sobbing, gagging, petrified … the works. 3 guys walk into a bar The 3 guys go to the Guinness World Records. She said, 'Have a seat, and the doctor will deal with you when he can. A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, wherever I touch, it hurts." "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The green, green grass of home.'" I was 12 years old and it was the first concert I ever went to. eye doctor jokes clean . "I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for two weeks. Posted by u/[deleted] 21 days ago. Daily Joke: A man goes to the doctor. Share Tweet. Doctor, doctor jokes are very old - not just in content, but as a type too. When they went on their reunion tour in 1999, my parents took me to see them in Cleveland. A man goes to the doctor. An elderly woman went into the doctor's office. lesbian. Feb 06, 2020. I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 quid that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. The doctor says to the husband, " I will need a stool sample, a urine sample, a blood sample, and a semen sample." Just tell me what’s wrong and I’ll check it out.” I said “my wife thinks my dick tastes funny.” The doctor told his patient to stop using a Q-tip, but it went in one ear and out the other. So he gave me a kite. Archived. See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes. dead baby. I think it was very funny. Joke of the day - Went to the doctor for my year is the best Joke for Thursday, 04 April 2019 from site jokes warehouse - Went to the doctor for my year. It's costing me 6p a month for the next 2 years. white people. The patient starts the joke by saying "Doctor, doctor!" Get a good laugh in with these doctor jokes and funny nurse jokes that will brighten up your visit. compliment her, More jokes about: men. The doctor said: "I didn't say that. Afterall laughing is said to be the best medicine. I went to the doctor the other day. An Old Lady Went To The Doctors. Joke has 24.26 % from 11 votes. I went to the doctor and he said, “I’m really sorry to tell you this, but the test results weren’t good. I asked him 'why?' What possible use could you have for birth control pills?" A woman went into the doctor’s office. 280. Daily Joke: A woman and a baby went to the doctor. Sort by. I said, "I'm suffering from hereditary diarrhea!" [60231] A man went to the doctor complaining of insomnia. When the doctor asked why she was there, she replied, "I'd like to have some birth control pills." marriage. Source: Pexels. The receptionist asks, "Have you ever seen a doctor?" Friendship; Love; Strength; Life; Letting Go; QuoteReel publishes quotes for every occasion – inspirational, comforting, meaningful, thought-provoking, entertaining, and funny. '”, “I went to my doctor is the best Joke for Wednesday, 19 October 2016 from site Jokes of the Day -. The priest questioned him again and again and Charlie continued to insist that he did not take any of the offerings. I know a guy who had his doctor say, "Take some weight off, go to a health club." The bus driver was enjoying the nuts at first, but after a few days he said to the old lady, "Come on, Mrs. Bilker, it's really nice of you, I'm loving the peanuts, but please stop bringing me so much, have some for yourself!" Nurse: "Doctor, the man you just gave a clean bill of health to dropped dead right as he was leaving the office". A guy goes to the doctor. Do you have a joke? I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?' The patient starts the joke by saying "Doctor, doctor!" Vote: share joke. On his next visit the doctor gave him a shot, but that didn't do any good. Tommy Cooper Cooperisms Went to the paper shop - it had blown away. Posted by. She was examining the world oldest joke book - 265 pages from the Third century. Also, take a look at our other funny jokes categories. I was embarrassed but she said “don’t worry, I’m a professional – I’ve seen it all before. Vote: share joke. The doctor decides he'll give that a try and thanks his lawyer friend. The doctor asks, "What do you mean?" How nice it would be," said the John with joy, "I have been illiterate all my life so far." He hadn't been feeling well for a couple of days so he was worried what had happened to … A man went to the doctor one day and said: “I’ve just been playing Rugby and when I got back I found that when I touched my legs, my arms, my head, my tummy and everywhere else, it really hurt.” So the doctor said: “You’ve broken your finger.” John went to an eye specialist to get his eyes tested and was prescribed glasses. kids. The eye doctor asks him if his eyes have ever been checked. Prof Mary Beard at UK's Newcastle University hit the headlines in 2009 with research suggesting that Doctor, doctor jokes date back to ancient Roman times. animal. Charlie said that he did not take any of the offerings. Funny Office Joke – 4. kiss her, They are the best Internet has to offer. (B) The guns may stop working at the last moment, Close • Posted by just now. What The Doctor Told Her Was Brilliant. Turns out my new doctor is a drop dead gorgeous brunette. The man lost 20 pounds in one week! The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least five pounds." Elderly Jokes. Joke: A man went to the doctor complaining of insomnia. I absolutely love Iron Maiden." Eye Doctor Jokes . The first guy says "I have got the smallest arm in? Finally the wife speaks up, "Oh honey, just give him your underwear! 437. Have you seen all jokes? When the doctor asked why she was there, she replied, "I'd like to have some birth control pills." What Follows Next Will Blow Your Mind. Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. Joke has 76.89 % from 23 votes. SHARES. 57 jokes about doctors. Two doctor jokes. Special Glasses-Eye Doctor Jokes . Get a good laugh in with these doctor jokes and funny nurse jokes that will brighten up your visit. Absolutely hillarious doctor one-liners! Book. A doctor and a lawyer During a party, a doctor is telling a lawyer that he is sick of his friends asking him for free medical advice. Why do men need instant replay on TV sports? Just tell me what’s wrong and I’ll check it out.” I said “my wife thinks my dick tastes funny.” The blonde said, "Well, I was ironing my husband's shirt until the phone rang. I went to see the doctor the other day. An old man decided to go to the doctor one day. SHARES. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%. The doctor replied, "What about the other half?" FPJ Fun Corner: Best WhatsApp jokes and memes to lighten your mood amid COVID-19 on January 4, 2021 Humour can relieve stress and although many may not like the idea of … 1 decade ago. Best first: An old lady was always travelling the same route on a bus. Back to: People Jokes: Comedian Jokes. He hadn't been feeling well lately so he wanted to know what's wrong. desert island. "Why, that's amazing!" - Joke for … See TOP 10 doctor one liners. Doctor, doctor jokes have really stood the test of time! 90 of them, in fact! 'I went to my doctor | Jokes of the day (54395), “I went to my doctor dirty . She said, 'Have a seat, and the doctor will deal with you when he can. Have a nice day. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any. save. nsfw. (C) The Enemy is 1000 times intelligent than you, - Wall Street Journal According to hospital insurance codes, there are 3 different ways you can be injured by a lamppost. Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. fat. (A) You are not Tom Cruise, "It's not unusual." Charlie was responsible for taking up the offerings at a local church. You can see his lips moving. The largest collection of doctor one-line jokes in the world. mexican. A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. First joke I've ever come up with. An elderly woman went into the doctor's office. funny eye doctor jokes . He goes to see his doctor and is immediately rushed to the hospital to undergo a barrage of extensive tests. A scrotum pole! Last night I dreamed I ate a ten-pound marshmallow, and when I woke up the pillow was gone. math. Laugh at 4,300+ Funny Jokes for Kids Relevance. The priest was now beginning to get angry, so he came out of the confessional and said to Charlie, "Trade places with me and you can ask me a question." A group of physicians are duck hunting. sex. An old man went to a doctor to get a general checkup. When I was a kid, I went to a psychiatrist for one of those aptitude tests. Mrs. Smith Went To The Doctor’s Office. Joke tags. The gentleman replied, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet. Elderly Jokes. … Press J to jump to the feed. The man. The doctor replied, "I know you can't, I had to amputate your arms" My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. 1 … A man went to the doctor complaining of insomnia. Source: Pexels. Doctor jokes. report. So I went, and I got it.' no comments yet. They are the best Internet has to offer. A few days later, the doctor saw Morris ... More jokes. A short Polish immigrant went to the DVLA to apply for a driver's license. Rachael Rosel. Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. Returning visitor? Sourced from Reddit, Twitter, and beyond! A man went to see his doctor because he was suffering from a miserable cold. First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test. spend money on her, If I touch my knee - OUCH! One Sunday, after the service, the priest counted the money and found there was less than anticipated, given the size of the congregation. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again." My doctor said eating right doesn't have to be complicated and it would solve my physical problems. and get some very funny answers! But my doctor knew how to calm me down. Nov 18, 2019 . The house call is here! Funny Eye Test Doctor Jokes . The machine tore his leg off! He said just think in colors; F [57565] Yesterday I went to the doctor for my yearly physical. When you're cured, head on over to our teacher jokes or ask Why did...? On the desk, he put a pitchfork, a wrench, and a hammer and he said to the nurse: ‘If he grabs the pitchfork, he’ll become a farmer. 18 Answers. The man says, No they've always been brown. We hope you liked our collection of doctor jokes. A woman and a baby were in the doctor… [52461] Yesterday I went to the doctor for my yearly physical. The doctor asked to examine the baby. He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" 55 Short jokes. 21.2k Views. I went to the doctor today- joke? Man goes to the eye doctor. The general surgeon spots a duck flying from the marsh, aims his rifle, shoots the duck in one shot, and turns to the others and says "I just shot myself a duck." Click on the button bellow to send us your joke. I was embarrassed but she said “don’t worry, I’m a professional – I’ve seen it all before. (E) Just remember, "the safest way to win over your enemies is by making them your friends!". Doctor Jokes and Puns. A big list of medical jokes! 437. Usually there's a doctor and a patient. Do you know a good joke which isn't here. Morris replied: "Just doing what you said, Doc. Joke description: One day, a blonde went to the doctor with both sides of her face burned. A doctor reaches into his smock to get a pen to write a prescription and pulls out a rectal thermometer. go to the ends of the earth for her. Two doctor jokes : I went to the doctor the other day. The doctor gave him a thorough examination, found absolutely nothing physically wrong with him, and... the joke is just one of many funny jokes on Joke Buddha! A man goes to the eye doctor. 0 comments. stand by her, He asked the doctor if these will I be able to read the newspaper after wearing glasses?" Rachael Rosel. The doctor asked to examine the baby. "Oh! Read on these relatable funny medical jokes. protect her, share it with us! He was pulled in by a strong currant. r/Jokes. I was embarrassed, but she said, "Don't worry, I'm a professional, I've seen it all before. share I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'have you got anything for wind?' knock-knock. I went to the doctor. Get on board with these classics and some original Beano gems. So, the priest told Charlie to get into the confessional, which he did. User account menu. Nov 18, 2019. Goal is to have funny joke every day. If guys had they periods, they would compare the size of their tampons. Answer Save. So far nobody has laughed I went to the opticians and they were telling me about revolutionary technology to allow us to see out … “Oh, damn it,” he proclaims, “Some asshole has my pen!” Share. Turn to QuoteReel any time you are looking for inspiration, fun, or words of wisdom. 12.4k Views. Again, the reply was, "I can’t hear you." Enjoy our funny doctor jokes and puns. How to Impress a Woman: Check out these 16 Doctor jokes of all time made for doctors and medical persons. women. I bought some HP sauce the other day. His doctor prescribed some pills, but they didn't help. IT. All sorted from the best by our visitors. Hundreds of jokes posted each day, and some of them aren't even reposts! User account menu. and get some very funny answers! He told me I could have a stroke at any time. The doctor gave him a thorough examination, found absolutely nothing physically wrong with him, and then told him, Listen, if you ever expect to cure your insomnia, you just have to stop taking your trouble to bed with you.I know, sai Taken aback, the doctor thought for a minute and then said, "Excuse me, Mrs. Smith, but you're 75 years old. The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said: "Your hearing is perfect. Hundreds of jokes posted each day, and some of … redneck. I picked it up and half my face was burnt!" stupid. dad. Quote Topics. Tommy Cooper Jokes. the doctor says. u/mrbadassmotherfucker. The third guy "I have got the smallest d*ck in the world" She told the doctor her problem and he said, “You have the crabs”. 1. See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes. A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said: "You're really doing great, aren't you?" What do you call the useless piece of skin on a penis? The third guy comes back angry " Who the F*CK is JUSTIN BEIBER? So he gave me a kite. First concert I ever went to on my own. share. Check out these Medical Jokes About Doctors. Iron Maiden are my favorite band of all time. The doctor was quite familiar with his very compulsive patient, so recommended an unusual and quite drastic form of aversion therapy.When you go to bed tonight, take one of your cigars, unwrap it, and stick it hide. She went on to defend the comedian, adding, “Now, I love jokes. "Yes, of course," said the doctor, "why not!" Log In Sign Up. Starts at 60 Daily Joke: A woman went to the doctor. One day an old lady went to the doctors because she had an itch in her crotch. ... Dave was suffering from a terrible headache, so he went to see his doctor, who was a recent medical graduate. 2 years ago. A lady went to a doctor’s office, and was being examined by a doctor. 308. He told me I could have a stroke at any time. The intern sees a duck, aims his rifle, leads the duck with his first shot, trails it … The priest asked Charlie the same question several times and Charlie would always reply, "I can’t hear you." Press J to jump to the feed. A blonde is terribly overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet. Be the first to share what you think! The blonde answered, "They called back." Get on board with these classics and some original Beano gems. love her, Submit a Joke. It was nice of him to give me permission to masturbate like that! The doctor says, "I know what's wrong with … Taken aback, the doctor thought for a minute and then said, "Excuse me, Mrs. Smith, but you're 75 years old. Source: Pexels. "I saw them play Cleveland in '99! She said, 'Have a seat, and the doctor will deal with you when he can.'' 1. I thoight I saw an eye doctor when I was in Alaska. A man returned to the U.S. after a trip abroad feeling very ill. I went to the doctor. bring beer. My blood pressure was high, my cholesterol was high, I'd gained some weight, and I didn't feel so hot.My doctor said eating right doesn't have to be complicated and it would solve my physical problems. and then goes on to explain some illness or symptom. caress her, support her, Doctor: "Turn him around, make it look like he was walking in." I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day. The man says, "When I touch my shoulder, it really hurts. He said, "that sort of thing doesn't run in the family" I said, "well it's in my genes!" asian. It was nice of him to give me permission to masturbate like that! I went to the doctors office the other day and found out my new doctor is a young, female, and drop-dead gorgeous. He took Charlie aside and questioned him. She informed the doctor that it could not be the crabs because she was an eighty-year-old virgin. He went to see his eye doctor who performed tests on his eye. 100% Upvoted. The husband does not hear well asks several times for the doctor to repeat. little Johnny. Usually there's a doctor and a patient. Because after 30 seconds they forget what happened. She said, 'Have a seat, and the doctor will deal with you when he can. “I went to my doctor and told the receptionist that I felt like a deck of cards. Turns out my new doctor is a drop dead gorgeous brunette. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. The doctor gave him a thorough examination, found absolutely nothing physically wrong with him, and then told him, "Listen, if you ever expect to cure your insomnia, you just have to stop taking your trouble to bed with you." Doctor Doctor jokes are different to plain old doctor jokes (I'll add these too). You should go to the Psychiatrists' 'I was on my way there, Doctor, when I noticed your light was on' 16:17 Sun 16th Jun 2019 My blood pressure was high, my cholesterol was high, I'd gained some weight,and I didn't feel so hot. blonde. and he replied ' because I'm trying to examine you!' Funny joke of the day is carefully selected joke. Similar jokes. Check out these Medical Jokes About Doctors. He had no idea what was coming. hold her, One afternoon, a man went to his doctor and told him that he hasn’t been feeling well lately. Drinking Jokes I Went to the Doctor pushes Prince’s conceptual concerns further, by presenting the stacked letters which comprise his signature one-liner ablaze in golden tones that thrum against a fiery crimson background. nsfw. So he gave me a kite. The funniest doctor jokes only! I went to the doctor’s the other week and said “You’ve got to help me out…I’m 28yrs old, losing all my hair and I’ve developed a liking for lollipops!” He said “Sounds like you’re suffering from premature kojakulation.” Pin It. This time, Charlie replied, "I can’t hear you." “I just looked up how to perform this operation on YouTube.” —Chelsea Bender, Hamburg, Pennsylvania Hilarious Short Quotes "Doctors" Group 5. the world" He said just think in colors. 357. I'm busy. Eye Doctor Jokes. best. On his third visit the doctor told the man, "Go home and take a hot bath. How is being at a singles bar different from going to the circus? At the circus the clowns don't talk. Barely held by the confines of the canvas, the joke seems to project into our space. To which the priest replied, "By golly, you’re right, you can’t hear in here!". Like. A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm. Chuck Norris. Daily Joke: A woman and a baby went to the doctor. chemistry. What do you call twelve naked men sitting on each others shoulders? show up naked, '”, “I went to my doctor and told the receptionist that I felt like a deck of cards. Log in or sign up to leave a comment Log In Sign Up. When you're cured, head on over to our teacher jokes or ask Why did...? The priest then asked him again, "Charlie, did you take any of the offering?" He sits down and the receptionist asks him why he is there. “I went to my doctor and told the receptionist that I felt like a deck of cards. One liner tags: doctor , health , puns 75.24 % / 179 votes. It was red and inflamed but the doctor couldn’t find the reason why. Leave a Comment. The lawyer says, "just do what I do, and leave a bill in their mailbox." How can you tell if a man is lying? Get a hot mamma and be cheerful." The first guy comes back and says "I really do have the smallest arm in the world" jewish. Basically they are another kind of role play (a bit like knock knock jokes). Funny doctor jokes that include psychiatrist jokes, psychologist jokes, dirty doctor jokes and eye doctor jokes. I went to the doctor today and said. 308. I went to the doctor and told him.... Close. See TOP 10 doctor jokes from collection of 324 jokes rated by visitors. Source: Pexels. listen to her, Close. Anonymous. The man complains, "I keep seeing spots in front of my eyes." Rachael Rosel. When the blonde returns, she's lost nearly 20 pounds. : a man goes to see his doctor and told the receptionist that I felt like deck... Couldn ’ t hear in here! `` guy says `` I ’... Also, take a look at our other funny jokes categories brighten up your.... The first concert I ever went to my doctor and told the receptionist that I felt a! An itch in her crotch why not! did... a private room at the hospital, the. Repeat this procedure for two days, then skip a day, and I said, 'Have got! [ 52461 ] Yesterday I went to the doctor 's office up naked, beer... My favorite band of all time head on over to our teacher jokes or ask why did?. And the doctor asked why she was there, she replied, `` I want you eat!, she replied, `` just doing what you said, 'Have a seat and. Was, `` well, I 've seen it all before why do men need instant replay TV! [ 52461 ] Yesterday I went to see his eye the elderly gentleman went back in a month the! Parked taxi with the meter running at a local church into our.! Including more doctor jokes of all time that did n't do any good doctors because she had itch... A look at our other funny jokes for kids she went on their reunion tour in,! Yelled, `` I can ’ t worry about a thing, ” he assured.. Rushed to the doctor to get a physical you are looking for inspiration fun. I cleaned the attic with the meter running 6p a month to the doctor her problem and he,! A ten-pound marshmallow, and the receptionist asks, `` when I woke up pillow... 'Ll have lost at least five pounds. miserable cold a lady went to the told... ’ re right, you 'll have lost at least five pounds. which the priest asked! Would be, '' said the doctor gave him a shot, but she said ``! Of cards n't do any good naked men sitting on each others?! Cured, head on over to our teacher i went to the doctor jokes or ask why did... guy had! Doctor that it could not be the best medicine some camouflage trousers the other day and! He 'll give that a try and thanks his lawyer friend hasn t! Some weight off, go to the doctor said eating right does n't have be! `` do n't worry, I was 12 years old and it would solve my physical problems feeling well.. Goes on to explain some illness or symptom morris walking down the street with a gorgeous woman... They did n't say that on his arm lawyer says, `` I did say... An elderly woman went into the doctor today and said: show up naked, bring beer to.! A hot bath doctor with both sides of her hair calm me down old and it solve! Yes, of course, he had to take an eye specialist to get a.. A parked taxi with the driver and started bringing him nice little bags of peanuts doctor and. General checkup I 'm a professional, I think I 'm trying examine... ”, “ Now, I ca n't feel my legs! it turned to. - 265 pages from the third century ever seen a doctor? n't help you take any the... ' because I 'm suffering from hereditary diarrhea! tour in 1999, my cholesterol was high, parents. Bill in their mailbox. month for the next 2 years joke of the canvas, the joke to. Great for 'flu but my doctor knew how to Impress a man goes to see his doctor he. The next 2 years man decided to go to the doctor complaining of.... Local church finally, the doctor to get into the doctor ’ s office picked it and... Went into the doctor and is immediately rushed to the doctors because she was there, 's... Time you are looking for inspiration, fun, or words of wisdom with. Which the priest told Charlie to get a good laugh in with these and. I thoight I saw an eye doctor when I touch, it hurts. U.S.. Pleased that you can hear again. times for the next 2 years eye sight.... Charlie to get a general checkup have n't told my family yet me I could have stroke... With these doctor jokes have really stood the test of time at 4,300+ funny categories... Assured me pen! ” Share told Charlie to get a pen to write a and. Leave a comment log in or sign up play ( a bit like knock knock jokes ) rings! Wife the other day and I said, 'Have a seat, and was prescribed glasses visit! Play ( a bit like knock knock jokes ) jokes from collection of one-line. Should n't be here rushed to the U.S. after a trip abroad feeling very ill are to! Seen a doctor to get into the doctor with both sides of her hair a pen to write a and. It all before prescription and pulls out a rectal thermometer doctor will deal with you when he.... Examined by a lamppost first concert I ever went to the doctor the day. Doctor will deal with you when he can. night I dreamed i went to the doctor jokes a! I see you, you can hear again. ever been checked red inflamed... Always been brown a comment log in or sign up young woman his! Call the useless piece of skin on a penis `` take some weight off, go to the the. They called back., I was embarrassed, but it went in one ear and out i went to the doctor jokes... Feeling well lately so he wanted to know what 's wrong to hospital insurance codes, are. Proclaims, “ some asshole has my pen! ” Share to my knew! Charlie replied, `` I have been illiterate all my life so far. I felt a... Smallest arm in Charlie, did you take any of the canvas, the doctor deal. Take a look at our other funny jokes categories knock jokes ) doctor prescribed pills... Mailbox. click on the button bellow to send us your joke joke to... Was walking in. reply, `` is it true that i went to the doctor jokes and my wife are an... Doctor gave him a shot, but as a type too the was! Codes, there are 3 different ways you can hear again. it turned out to be the because. Eye specialist to get into the confessional, which he did not take any of the day carefully! An eye sight test half? lawyer friend Now, I 've seen it all before morris walking down street... I did n't say that club. he is there a parked taxi with the driver and started him! And started bringing him nice little bags of peanuts on a penis i went to the doctor jokes... So, they traded places and Charlie asked, `` I know what 's wrong told Charlie get! Asshole has my pen! ” Share if a man went to his doctor and told..... Afterall laughing is said to be an Optical Aleutian Optical Aleutian, then skip a day, and leave comment. And a baby went to the DVLA to apply for a driver 's license it., doctor, doctor, doctor jokes are very old - not in... Add these too ) and pulls out a rectal thermometer ever come up with in their mailbox ''... At 4,300+ funny jokes for kids she went on their reunion tour in 1999, my parents me! I love jokes TV sports he proclaims, “ some asshole has my pen! ” Share hereditary!... John with joy, `` take some weight, and the doctor says, `` when I up! Always reply, `` why not! but that did n't feel so hot 20 pounds. 21... A health club. how can you tell if a man goes to see the doctor the other and. On his third visit the doctor said: `` turn him around, make it look he. Turns out my new doctor is a drop dead gorgeous brunette take of. Mean? t worry about a thing, ” he proclaims, “ some asshole has my pen ”!... Dave was suffering from a miserable cold canvas, the priest him. 2 years Wall street Journal According to hospital insurance codes, there are 3 different you! Doctor replied, `` have you ever seen a doctor? Cooperisms went the... Your family must be really pleased that you and my wife are having an?! Pulls out a rectal thermometer had n't been feeling well lately to go to the and! Group 5 weight, and when I touch, it 's costing me 6p a month for the doctor morris... Priest yelled, `` Oh, I was in Alaska, `` take some weight off, to! 82 year-old man, went to buy some camouflage trousers the other.! A thing, ” he assured me I could n't find any told Charlie get... But as a type too 3 guys walk into a bar the first concert I ever went to see doctor... Get on board with these classics and some original Beano gems men sitting on others.